On the day our second son David was married, I gave him a charge as he sat with his new bride before a small semi-circle of men who had been influential in his life. This charge on his wedding day was the culmination of a long process of raising him as a son from his birth. The process had been long. The process had been purposeful. And the process was undertaken with certain goals in mind. And now, those goals accomplished, the process was coming to an end, not because my and his mothers influence would cease but because, with his marriage, it would take on a different dimension. The charge I gave was as follows:
David, as you embark on the marathon which is marriage, and step out as a young man into the journey of life I want to say a few words to you as your Father, in order to help you on your way.
We live in an age where males tend to fall into one of three categories. On one end of the spectrum are the ‘wimps-those timid, panty waste, limp wrist males who don’t know who they are and who need women to affirm them and boost their self confidence, making them feel they are worthy of living. On the other extreme are ‘barbarians’-males who are unmannered, who enjoy being base publicly without remorse and who see women as mere objects of exploitation to be used for sex, abused and possessed for the purpose of satisfying their own carnal appetites. And then, there are MEN~and your mother and I, by God’s grace and supported by other MEN in your and our lives, raised you to be, not a wimp and not a barbarian but rather, to be a MAN.
A male has become a MAN when he comes to understand and be comfortable with what his maleness means and how he differs from women~and the differences are profound and great;
A male has become a MAN when he has learned who women are as well as the proper way to treat, love, and honor them~as a protector;
A male has become a MAN when he steps up and steps out and takes his place with the men of history, getting equipped, and learning the joys of hard work as a provider;
A male has become a MAN when he realizes that he was created to serve a KING as a subject of the KINGS realm~and he turns from himself, subjecting himself to that KING, Jesus Christ, by faith as a believer priest; and then, as a MAN he lives out his life before God in society, for the glory of the KING.
David, the men of this communion have watched as this process has taken place in your life. You graduated high school at 16 years of age with a 4.0 grade point average. You went to work at 16, not et able to drive yourself and have learned over four years how to bear the yoke in your youth. You passed a trial of suffering when your lungs collapsed and through that trial have surrendered your heart and life to your KING. And through many trials you have now taken for yourself a lovely wife, provided for you by God our Heavenly Father~and you now sit by her, having been joined in marriage before the Lord.
In this process you have not done everything right~but then, scripture reveals that real men never do~but that’s part of being a man too; and MEN have the courage to face their flaws, to own their stuff and then, with spiritual and mental toughness, make amends when needed, pressing on to the prize. And so I say to you today, proudly, that you have become a MAN my son !! And I charge you, do all of us and Jesus Christ PROUD, for the honor and glory of the only legitimate and eternal king, Jesus.
As a man, you are at that point in your life where you have now been given a three fold stewardship. First you have a King to serve, His gospel to proclaim and His battle to fight; Second, He has given you a bride to honor, to cherish, to love, to protect and to provide for; Third, your mother and I have passed to you a legacy to keep for as we have followed Christ we have passed this on to you. From this day forward you will be judged by your peers, the world and your Lord by how well you keep these stewardships.
And in order that you remember this charge, I have a gift I want to give to you as a symbol of your manhood~this English broad sword. This sword is both real and symbolic. It is real in that this sword is not a cheap replica of an actual sword but rather is a battle ready sword. It has a keen blade, sharp, and will indeed cut; and if swung on the head of an enemy, it will surely render a fatal blow. I give this to you as a reminder that you are now an protector and a provider. The sword is also symbolic in that it reminds you that as Jesus follower you’ve been given another sword, far sharper than this one~the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God~which will always guide you straight and empower you to honor your King in all you do.
And so, with this, I send you on your way, commending you to God and to the Word of His grace, which is able to build you up and give you an inheritance among those who are sanctified by faith in Christ. Live now, as the man you have become and rejoice in the wife of your youth. AMEN !!!
Thanks Dad.
-Joshua